All's fair in gym and exercise?

My Text to Nigel (Personal Trainer) at 7:27am:

“Nigel, I’m disorganized... Wont’ be in until after lunch... :(”

Nigel’s response:

“Mm”

My Text to Nigel at 12:00pm:

“Nigel, I won’t make it today!  I look forward to your mild wrath tomorrow.”

Nigel’s response:

“Dead”

I’m a little nervous about tomorrow’s session....

I'm proud...

I'm proud that I didn't eat the bag of sunshine snack corn curls in my bag as an I-ate-dinner-10-minutes-ago snack... I'm proud that I took water instead of juice at the public lecture event and that I didn't eat my box of refreshments but took it to put in the fridge for tomorrow.  I'm proud that I didn't eat Johann's box of refreshments that he took, even though he didn't want it, because I wanted it.  I put that in the fridge for tomorrow as well. I'm proud that I didn't "just take a little taste" as I put it in the fridge. I'm proud that I didn't eat a granola bar when I came home from the event just because it was there.

Ups and Downs

Funny how I started off the week on a mental high... felt like I was soaring on Cloud 9 over my 9% body fat loss.  But then by Thursday,  I was in pain and just plain mad.  My back muscles hurt, could barely bend. My biceps hurt, could only do about three shoulder presses at a time.  Tried to tell Nigel, but somehow the more I talked about pain, the more he smiled.  About 22 minutes into the work out, I told Nigel, " I want to leave."
"You want to leave?" he asked.
"Yeah, I want to leave."
Without a beat he said, "Get on the treadmill!"
"Nigel! I--"
"Get on the treadmill!"
"Ok. Fine.  I'll do 15 minutes..."
"38 minutes"
"Nigel!!"
"38 minutes!"

I left the gym mad.

Yipeekayaykayay- Today is a lovely Day!!!

So like, OMG!  I've been depressed for the last few months because I have not been seeing a change on the scale.  Been 185 for a while.  However, clothes were fitting different, and I was getting comments from others about looking smaller... but still...  I had a hard time mentally.  Did a body fat analysis with Nigel on Tuesday of this week and I had gone from 33% (in July) to 24%.  What does that mean?  I lost 9% body fat and gained 6% lean muscle.  That's approximately 16.6 lbs of body fat lost and 11.6lbs of lean muscle gained.  It also means:

It means that my body fat is in the Fitness category for women!!! I went from being Obesity to Fitness!!!  How super duper cool is that??  Kinda hard to even associate myself with such a term but I'll take it for now!

"Belly Band"

Nigel told me to buy a "belly band" for when I'm doing my cardio.  I think it's supposed to help me keep my abdominal muscles tight while I work out.    It felt kinda weird going to the sports store asking for a "belly band" but I've since learned it can go by other names such as the "tummy sweat belt", "exercise waist belt" or the brand name of "belly bandit".  My "waist belt by weston" does not look as cool as this picture to the left.  My own is an odd blue on the outside and a bright red on the inside.  It also doesn't fit as neatly and smoothly as this one.  It came with no instructions, and I'm not sure if I'm supposed to wear it under clothes or over clothes.  I don't think I've seen anyone at the gym wearing one, so I'm a bit reticient about wearing it.  Anybody ever used one or know somebody who used one?

Update:  It seems like a lot of versions of this belt target post pregnancy women...I'm thinking I'm 14 years late...

Goofing around at work...

Tryin' to work on posing like a Kardashian so as to get a better silhouette

Size 14 Suit... pants starting to have a little more room than when I first bought it...

My Goal: Skinny as the office skeleton...add some boobs, a colon and a butt and I'm good to go...

Well this is interesting...Food Cravings

If you crave this...	What you really need is...	And here are healthy foods that have it:
Chocolate	Magnesium	Raw nuts and seeds, legumes, fruits
Sweets	Chromium	Broccoli, grapes, cheese, dried beans, calves liver, chicken
	Carbon	Fresh fruits
	Phosphorus	Chicken, beef, liver, poultry, fish, eggs, dairy, nuts, legumes, grains
	Sulfur	Cranberries, horseradish, cruciferous vegetables, kale, cabbage
	Tryptophan	Cheese, liver, lamb, raisins, sweet potato, spinach
Bread, toast	Nitrogen	High protein foods: fish, meat, nuts, beans
Oily snacks, fatty foods	Calcium	Mustard and turnip greens, broccoli, kale, legumes, cheese, sesame
Coffee or tea	Phosphorous	Chicken, beef, liver, poultry, fish, eggs, dairy, nuts, legumes
	Sulfur	Egg yolks, red peppers, muscle protein, garlic, onion, cruciferous vegetables
	NaCl (salt)	Sea salt, apple cider vinegar (on salad)
	Iron	Meat, fish and poultry, seaweed, greens, black cherries
Alcohol, recreational drugs	Protein	Meat, poultry, seafood, dairy, nuts
	Avenin	Granola, oatmeal
	Calcium	Mustard and turnip greens, broccoli, kale, legumes, cheese, sesame
	Glutamine	Supplement glutamine powder for withdrawal, raw cabbage juice
	Potassium	Sun-dried black olives, potato peel broth, seaweed, bitter greens
Chewing ice	Iron	Meat, fish, poultry, seaweed, greens, black cherries
Burned food	Carbon	Fresh fruits
Soda and other carbonated drinks	Calcium	Mustard and turnip greens, broccoli, kale, legumes, cheese, sesame
Salty foods	Chloride	Raw goat milk, fish, unrefined sea salt
Acid foods	Magnesium	Raw nuts and seeds, legumes, fruits
Preference for liquids rather than solids	Water	Flavor water with lemon or lime. You need 8 to 10 glasses per day.
Preference for solids rather than liquids	Water	You have been so dehydrated for so long that you have lost your thirst. Flavor water with lemon or lime. You need 8 to 10 glasses per day.
Cool drinks	Manganese	Walnuts, almonds, pecans, pineapple, blueberries
Pre-menstrual cravings	Zinc	Red meats (especially organ meats), seafood, leafy vegetables, root vegetables
General overeating	Silicon	Nuts, seeds; avoid refined starches
	Tryptophan	Cheese, liver, lamb, raisins, sweet potato, spinach
	Tyrosine	Vitamin C supplements or orange, green, red fruits and vegetables
Lack of appetite	Vitamin B1	Nuts, seeds, beans, liver and other organ meats
	Vitamin B3	Tuna, halibut, beef, chicken, turkey, pork, seeds and legumes
	Manganese	Walnuts, almonds, pecans, pineapple, blueberries
	Chloride	Raw goat milk, unrefined sea salt
Tobacco	Silicon	Nuts, seeds; avoid refined starches
	Tyrosine	Vitamin C supplements or orange, green and red fruits and vegetables

1. Lectures, Cheryl M. Deroin, NMD, Southwest College of Naturopathic Medicine, Spring 2003 (healthy food recommendations)
2. Benard Jenson, PhD, The Chemistry of Man B. Jensen Publisher, 1983 (deficiencies linked to specific cravings and some food recommendations)

WHOA!

Interesting Links

Found this while stumbling around online:

The 29 Healthiest Foods on the Planet

The World's Healthiest Foods

7 Foods That Improve Every Type of Bad Mood

A victim of Vanity Sizing

So, I've been a victim of Vanity Sizing,and I'm not sure how I feel....  I mean, it's not completely surprising but it did throw me for  a loop.  I've known for the past three years to shop around and try clothes on because different brands fit differently.  So sometimes you can fit into one size and squeeze into another at one store in one brand but same size at another store and brand wouldn't fit.  

2-3 months ago, I discovered a store, during my lunch hour, that sold a variety of different labels of suits.  I wasn't really finding much that I wanted to wear when the attendant brought me a nicely tailored black suit.  Oh I loved it.  But I looked at the label and saw size 14.  "Oh, no!" I moaned.  "This isn't my size.  I won't be able to fit into this. "

"Just try it." The attendant gave it back to me.  

So I tried it.  And it fit!  Oh my goodness.. I was a size 14!  I had changed my diet for the 6 months prior and it felt so good to have dropped from an 18/20 to a 14.

Fast forward to last week.  Last week I'm shopping for jeans in some of the local brands and so I look to the size 14s.. I hold up a  pair of jeans... "Yeah, right." I mutter.  Ain't no way I'm gonna even bother to try these on cause I doubt they'd even make it up one leg.    I end up buying a 23/24 at one store and a 16/18 at another store.  Hmmm... I'm thinking now.  Probably it's the American brands that have the more standardized sizes, I start to wonder.  Cause the Trinidadian Stores really seem to cater to the skinnier side of life.  I'm not sure if either of these thoughts make me feel better or not but I decide I'm going back to the suit store with the size 14.

So, 2 days ago, I go back to the size 14 store, J & K signature.  The attendant from last time recognizes me and comes over to help.  I must admit, I was confused with the sizes after my experiences and gravitated to what I knew my size to be previously and I went to the size 18s.  So attendant girl is like, "Oh that's too big".  "Well, it's what I wear in most stores..." I start to say, "...but  I have lost some weight recently..."  She looks at me up and down, "You sure have!  I can tell your legs look smaller!"  I look at my legs.  She guides me to another rack of clothes.  "Last time you were here you fit into a 14.  So here try a 12!"  My brain can't handle it-- A 12!?   Really???. "Let me try the 14 first, just to be sure..." I say with lots of doubt...my jeans shopping had me sensitive to trying on sizes that I just couldn't fit into.  I get into the 14.  Too big... the attendant confirms it, my sister Davley confirms it.  Hmmm... probably I should try the 12.  I try the 12.  Doggone it-- It fits like a glove! A nicely tailored glove!  Could this really be?  My heart sores as I fall in love with the suit and the fact that I'm in a size 12!!! OMG!!!  I try on a bunch of other 12s and they all fit!  Then Davley comes with a white suit with brown stripes. Huh?  It's not really my style but she thinks it looks nice and summery etc.  Just try it she says.  I look at the label.... "Davley, this is a 10." "Yeah, well just try it." She shrugs casually as if it's normal.  In my size 12 high I try it.  And let me tell you, the suit looked hot.  Now i won't lie. I could lose a 1/2 inch or so for it to be perfect... but I could always wear a body smoother underneath for now! LOL.... It was at this point in my euphoria that the sucker punch hit me.  This was too good to be true.

I took off the suit and went to the local section of clothes.  I tried on a 3x skirt.  My butt could barely fit into it and my hips were exploding at the sides.  Ok. Reality check.  This is when my emotions became confused.  From the quick sore of euphoric glee to plummet directly to despair was a bit jolting on the psyche.  My feelings caught between a crumble and a smile, I bought the size 12 AND the size 10 suits.  As I walked out the store I concluded, " I may not know if I'm really a size 12, but I do know I've lost a dress size... from a 14 to a 12... whatever those numbers mean...." I was happy with that.  'Cause it means the gym has been working...=)

179.6lbs

Ok, I know it's not my official weigh-in date and not my official weigh-in time.  But the scale hit 179.6lbs.   I've never dipped that low before!!!  Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy!  Let's hope this is an omen for a good day! lol.

Over the years.... and still counting...

... counting down the pounds, inches, body fat %, bmi...

One Month Anniversary

Today marks the end of my first month at the gym....

Category	Before	After
Weight	188.8	183.6
Fitness Level	Apocalyptic Death/ Below Poor	Above Improvable
Body Fat %	33%	30%
Mental State	Skeptical/Panicked	Determined/Committed

Can't believe it's 1 month already.  I'm happy that I've been able to stick with it.  A little bummed that I didn't' lose more weight.  But mentally determining to be committed to the long haul and to being patient and consistent. It's funny how much of a mental battle weight loss is.  My next goal is a fitness level of "good".

So.. 1 month down... 11 more to go....

Weekly Hike at Mt. St. Benedicts

Another conversation with Nigel....

I'm walking on the treadmill and this time Nigel hangs around.  I feel tense because every five minutes he adjusts my speed and my incline.  He looks at my tension and kinda chuckles.  He makes conversation.  " So how big yuh was before?"
"You mean how much I weighed?"
"Yeah"
"Well, at my highest I was 224lbs."
"Jesus Christ!" he exclaims.  I could hear the unwitting horror wrapped around his words. His exclamation makes me laugh. But I can't handle laughing as well as the speed and incline that he has me at.  I quickly grab onto the side bars as I feel myself sliding backwards. Nigel, who had been looking out the window, now looks at me with confusion and concern.  He positions himself quickly to prevent me from falling if that should happen.  He decides to clarify what's going on, "You're laughing, right?"
"Yes."
"At  what?  How I said "Jesus Christ"?"
"Yeah"
"I wasn't trying to be funny or sarcastic or anything.  It's just that was a lot of weight for your frame."
"I know.  Anyway, that was 2005.  I lost 10lbs by 2006 so I was 210.  By 2007, I had lost all of 1lb."
"Shit!" Again, another unwitting exclamation. He made it sound like it was such a disaster.  I started to laugh again.
"Ah not tryin' to be funny or anything yuh know." he explains again, "Continue, I'm listening."
"So, I gained another 2lbs, went on a diet/exercise thing and got to 206lbs. by the end of 2009 I was at 202lbs but I'm not sure if that was due to any efforts I made or the fact that I had diabetes."
"So after you were diagnosed with diabetes, what happened?"
"Well, I really changed my diet, and I got to 188lbs. I started fluctuating between 188 and 192lbs and then I decided to join the gym! And that's how I met you!!!"  I threw in the last part for a little humor.
Nigel really didn't seem to find it funny and he simply nods. "That was a lot of weight for your frame," he repeats.  Pause. "Could you walk up stairs?"
"Yes! I mean, a little slowly, but yes!"
"Slowly?  Your knees used to give you problems?"
"No, not really."
"Hmmm" He shakes his head as he still tries to wrap his mind around what I told him.
What I had accepted and taken for granted for years, he seemed genuinely shocked at.  I decide to ask, "Am I the least fit person you've had to work with?"
"No, no.." He reassures me, " I had a guy one time who was three hundred and something pounds."
Great. So I'm in the same category as the three hundred and something pound guy. "How long did it take him to lose the weight?"
"We worked through it.  He got to about 187."
"But how long did it take?"
"A while."
Like Nigel didn't want to say the time frame out loud.  I pushed him, "1 year? 2 years?"
"2 years."  We made eye contact.  He knew I was trying to figure out how that related to me. "Remember, I told you we would really need a year.  But give me till the end of the year-- six months--you'll see a big difference."
My mind started to race.  My "master plan" had been to join the gym for 3 months and work really hard.  Take a break for the school semester and then start back again on the next school break.  The plan didn't seem so masterful now. "Nigel, if I can make it through these 3 months, I'll join again for another 3months.  And then I'll join for another 3 months.  I'll take it in small steps."
"Doh worry, yuh go do it."  He answers his phone and leaves me with my thoughts.

Last words...

Nigel's last words as I walked towards the locker room after my workout-- "Tomorrow you'll feel a li'l sore, eh."  What he should have said: “Tomorrow you’ll feel like you’ve worked the land, toiled on the plantations and been trampled by the cattle, eh.”

Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness

Well who knew?  Seems like everything's got a name...  This would explain those two painful days last week...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delayed_onset_muscle_soreness

http://sportsmedicine.about.com/cs/injuries/a/doms.htm

http://www.webmd.com/fitness-exercise/guide/sore-muscles-keep-exercising

No more pain!

I can see clearly now, the pain is gone... it's gonna be a bright, bright, sunshiny day!!  I think,there's a difference between pain and a "burn".  Last week, first two days of starting the gym, I was in pain.  It hurt.  But today, I can feel the "burn", kinda like a slight ache that reminds me that my muscles are there and I've used them recently.  It's like a light tap on the door, versus somebody banging and hollerin'  all at the same time.  That, coupled with my 2.2lbs loss last week, is my current incentive and motivation.  Now what would be whack is if I don't lose any pounds this week or if I gain.  That would be whack.

Comparisons

Can you see the difference??  I keep comparing pictures of me over the years and asking aloud, "Do I look different?"  Davley keeps telling me that I look so much different.  I look in the mirror and I can barely see it.  I know my clothes fit differently and the scale shows a change, but looking in the mirror I still see plus sized.  I decided to use the My Virtual Model site to recreate my different weights, starting with my highest ever.  I can kinda see a decline...
Update:  Someone dear to me just informed me that at no point have I looked like the models. =P

It will always be with you?

"So, I thought I'd just let you know that I'm in pain." I said to Nigel as I walked over to the weights.
"Yeah?"
'Yeah.  It hurts to sit.  It hurts to stand.  It hurts to walk.  I hurt."
"Well, doh worry.  We goin' easy today.  We workin' de core an' then you'll do the treadmill."
I didn't feel like I was getting enough sympathy and understanding. "So, when exactly does the pain go away?"  I could hear a guy snickering from behind.  I glanced back and he was doing some sort of squat with some weights.
"Well...after awhile, but if you keep doing more [challenging yourself] it's always there."
"What?!?  Are you in pain?"  I asked precociously.
"Girl, right now ah could feel de burn in my chest, my arms... you learn to live with it."
Hmmm... now that wasn't the answer I was expecting.  All these ripped, buff guys walking around as if it were just natural to look like a demigod were in pain??  I had to think about that one.
Anybody else in pain??

Pain

Feels like I'm living on Pain Avenue.  My quadriceps hurt.  My abdominal muscles hurt.  My biceps and triceps hurt.  My ham strings hurt. My deltoids hurt.  Movement hurts.  Nigel started me off on the treadmill yesterday.  Started at a 6.0 gradient at a 2.5 speed.  I think I looked away and  then back and noticed he had upped my speed to 2.9.  He starts chatting with me about his iPhone.  Chatting away and I'm doing ok.  He's like, "How yuh legs feelin'?"  I'm like, "Good!"  He responds "Good!" and ups the speed to 3.0  Huh?  What?  I told you I was good.  He keeps talking about his iPhone. I'm starting to sweat.   He gets a call, "Ah comin' back eh."  So I'm like, "So just keep doing this?  Walking?" "Yeah, look at the screen. Yuh have a 30 minute walk and yuh only have 10 more minutes."  "Oh. Ok. Good".  " And since you're good...."  He reaches over and ups the gradient to 7.5 and walks away.  "What the...?"   Ok, so now I'm pumping my legs and breathing real heavy.  The sweat starts to drip.  5 minutes later he comes back.  He stands to the side... watching me, drenched in sweat, huffin' and puffin'... I'm just waiting for him to ask me how I'm doing... just waiting.... but he doesn't.  He looks at my face, "Oh oh!  Ah workin' yuh hard?  Nigel makin' yuh work, huh?"  I thought I heard sympathy in his voice.  I relax slightly and I huff out, "Yeah..."  "Yeah," he agrees and ups the gradient to 8.0 and the speed to 3.2. "Yuh almost done."    I grab on to the bars and walk an incline I've never encountered before on a treadmill. "Yuh eh dyin'" Nigel informs me from the side, "Yuh doin' good." and starts to chat about his recent trip to DC.  If I wasn't breathing hard like a water buffalo, I would've told him to shut up.

An Open Letter to God: My first day at the Gym

Dear, Dear God,

Please forgive the barrage of cuss words currently exploding across my synapses but I joined the Gym today. I joined the gym AND I got a personal trainer.  His name is Nigel.  God, please bless Nigel’s sweet smiling face but Lord just the thought of it right now creates feelings of panic and fear that pushes me to the verge of tears.  I can still hear his voice across the room “Wilson!  Give me another rep!”  “Wilson!  Ten more!”    We started with a fitness test.  I had to walk on the treadmill at varying inclines for a specified amount of time.  I thought I was doing well... no heart pounding out of your chest can hardly breathe feeling. I was cool. I was calm.  I even thought to myself—it’s a lucky thing I climbed those mountains last two weeks.  I might actually be fitter than I thought.  I did notice my heart rate on the monitor was fluctuating kinda highish for the slow rate I was doing but I mean, it’s not like I’m sweating that much, right?    We went to his office to view the results and Lord, I should have expected it but I didn’t.  He looked at me and said ok, things are very, very, very, very, very, bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad!  And I’m thinking , “So many bads, huh?”  He shows me the computer generated graph of my fitness results.  The Y axis had grid marks with varying levels of fitness.  The first mark (nearest to the X axis) said “Poor”.   My pink bar graph didn’t even make it there. My fitness level was higher than X-axis but lower than Poor.... Lord, if I was any less fit, what would I be??? In a wheel chair?  On crutches? Dead????  I stared at the graph and wondered, how long would I be able to last if I didn’t change my current  fitness routine of nothing?

The fitness test over, he gets me on a machine contraption that squishes me together in such a way that my body seems to fold in half with my knees up to my chest.  My abdomen was sandwiched between my thighs and my vertebrae, topped with pushed together DDs  Wasn’t sure if I was going to a) die from suffocation as my face shoved too close to my chest or b) die from embarrassment if I accidentally passed gas, 'cause folded over like that it just seemed....well, anyway...thank you so much, God, that neither of those things happened and I lived to write this letter.

A whole bunch of repetitions of squats, crunches and arm lifts later I limped towards Nigel.  I think he could see in my eyes that I was done.... he tried to make a joke... “Oh gosh girl, doh limp so... it eh dat bad.”    All I could do was raise an eyebrow...  He’s like “Yuh legs feel like jelly?”  I nod while thinking, “Yep.  As well as all my internal organs.”  He continues in an everything is normal tone, “You’ll be a little sore tomorrow, but I still want you in the gym, eh!”  I attempted a smile, but  I think it may have come off as a grimace.  Before I left, somehow he got me to commit to 4x a week and a promise to bring a written contract of commitment to exercise and eating properly.  I would sign it and he would sign it.   He would do his part to get me where I wanted to be.  The question is, he asked, will you do your part?   I smile/grimace again.

God,  my prayer right now is that tomorrow, when I’m ready to run in the opposite direction,  that I won’t consider that to be my exercise replacement for the day and I’ll head to the gym instead.  

xoxoxo,

Delamae

Walking down and up Mount St Benedict's

“I don’t wanna do this anymore…” I whined with great fervor.

 “Come on,” Davley encouraged, “Enjoy the surroundings—It was your idea anyways!” 

“Next time just slap me and say No!” 

We were walking down Mount St. Benedicts with the intent of walking back up.   Earlier that afternoon  we were relaxing in my Mom’s living room when I heard, “Want to hike up Mount St Benedicts?”  I looked around the room to see who had asked the question.  Davley looked at me with contemplation and said “ Yeah, let’s do it!”  I looked around the room again… nobody in the room ‘cept Davley and me!  By elimination, I realized that the original question came from me!  Why, why do I let these things leave my brain and float out of my mouth???  ‘Cause nobody, nobody ever says no!!    Fast forward 2 hours and here we are  at St. Benedicts with another bright idea that involves parking at the top of the hill, walking down and then up as opposed to starting at the bottom and coming back down.    At first it didn’t seem odd, but it turned into an unexpected mental torture.  It was taking us like 20-30 minutes to get down the hill.  If it was taking us that long to descend, what about coming back up???  The only thing I was happy about was the fact that I had set out to defy the Boob Challenged Coeefficient and succeeded.  Wearing a regular bra PLUS a sports Bra had my boobs strapped in place. I could do a jump ‘n’ jack to the moon and nothing would move.  Funny though, even with this accomplishment, I didn’t really want to jog… it’s so… tiring…   Anyway, we’re still heading down with me trying to do my usual mind over matter mental technique and go with a this-is-fun-just-inhale-the-fresh-air-and-listen-to-the-little-birdies-chirping attitude but what I was ending up with was what-the-heck-am-I-doing-how-on-earth-will-I-get-back-up-this-mount???  An old man passed us.  He was going in the opposite direction. Yes, he was going uphill with his plus-sized paunch and barely a sweat. I wasn’t sure if this was a moment for encouragement or a moment for panic.  I didn’t get a chance to debate for long because we rounded a bend on the winding road and I realized we were still far away from the bottom.  Panic hit.  “Don’t worry,” says Davley “ We’ll take it slow.  It’ll be a casual walk”. “Uh-huh” I said with not even fake-enthusiasm.  I knew I was psyching myself out but I didn’t know how to stop the mental negativity.  Finally we got to the bottom.    “Ok, here we go—Let’s head back up!”    We started walking.    We’re climbing and I was waiting for the I-know-I’m-about-to-pass-out-feeling but it never came!!  I stretched my legs for broader paces and kept climbing. “Take it easy!”Davley says, “Just pace yourself.”   Me, all cocky and obnoxious, “You don’t know what I’m doing!”  Davley with raised eyebrow, “okaaaayyy.”  Three seconds later I pause for a breath.  Davley passes me without a word.  I pretend to take in the surroundings, “ Oh look at that mango tree. Was that there on our way down?”  No answer.  I’m not sure if she heard me or if she ignored me.  I start back with a new spurt of energy craving the accelerated heart beat, feeling the blood surging with strong cardiovascular pumps throughout my body!  Yayyyyyyyy Exercise!  Before you know it we’re back at the top.  And you know what?  It really wasn’t that bad.  Seems like who ever cut the roads up to the top did it at a nice sloping angle so that the incline doesn’t feel as steep as you ascend.  Which is probably how the old man (and myself) were able to do it with limited problems.

Moral of the story:  Try not to psyche yourself out with negative thinking.  It might actually be easier than it looks.

The Day After...

“I don’t feel anything.”  Everyone in the car glanced at me waiting for an explanation.  Had sudden paralysis hit me?  Was I having circulation problems?  Had my leg fallen asleep?  I repeated myself and explained, “I don’t feel anything—no aches and pains from yesterday’s hike.  Usually, I’m aching all over.” I got a few muttered responses from the car, “Hmmm”  “Nice”  “Oh”.    It wasn’t a big deal to them, and really it wasn’t a big deal to me, but it had caught my attention.  2 months ago and 10lbs heavier, I had attempted the same hike and not made it to the top.  I was wondering if the loss of weight had made yesterday’s attempt more accomplishable….hmmm…I thought about this again at the end of the day when I found myself running in place while watching the premier of Selena Gomez’s new music video on Disney. Jogging in place, moving my arms, doing knee-ups… What was going on?  I had some extra energy I wanted to burn off… “Extra Energy??”  My mind was trying to wrap itself around this concept.  "Hey Johann, Wanna do an exercise dvd with me?”  “Sure!” Popped in the Abs Diet DVD and did the 25 minute workout.  I couldn’t believe  I was getting through the jump ‘n’ jacks** section.  Did I really just do the 60 second sprint without stopping??  Again, I hadn’t attempted this workout routine for a while, in fact, I was now probably 20lbs lighter since the last time I tried it.  Wow… losing weight sure does make exercise feel different.  This revelation may not mean anything to anyone else, but it’s something I’ve never experienced before…. I wondered to myself… could it be that one day exercise might be….easy??  “Nahh.” My brain quickly ruled it out, “Easier probably, but not easy”.
** Due to BCC, I had to do a jump without jacks..., that is, no hand movements due to hands acting as sports bra reinforcement...